What do you do when.....

• Your apologies are worthless.
• You are too late in your attempts to better yourself as a human being.
• You are asked to be open and honest. You do it. Then all that shit you didn't want to share in the first place, is all used against you.
• You fight for what you want. You lose. You fight. Then you sit back and feel pathetic for even trying.
• Your attempt at compassion and kindness is confused as weakness.
  
• You are wrong when you fake happy to get through your day.
• You are wrong when you are honest about being unhappy that day.

I know that I was a selfish piece of shit. I have caused an unmeasurable amount of worry. I have hurt countless feelings.

I have taken beautiful, smart and talented women overflowing with love and changed them into shallow, cold and empty vessels. To the point, that one of those women fakes a kidnapping and kills our only daughter. It's all my fucking fault. I could have tried harder right?

I'm sorry (worthless statement) that I have a hard time feeling worthy of happiness, love or joy in my life. I don't think I have earned any of those things based on my current track record.

Please do not mistake this is a pity party.
Fuck your pity. Fuck your parties.
Fuck your suggestions on how I should live my life and Fuck the deadline you set for me to meet them by.

Too Little. Too Late.

It will always be Too Little. Too Late.

I get it.