Utah top 5

So my trip to Utah has come to end. Shortly I will be leaving to the Salt Lake City airport and hopefully (crossing fingers) getting a tasty airport Bloody Mary (I know they keep two bars somewhere in the Salt Lake City Airport to make a good impression on people arriving in Utah).

Here are my top 5 Utah moments:

1. Crashing a snowmobile into a boulder.


Riding snowmobiles is a fucking blast, until you crash it into a boulder. I was trying to avoid a group of snowmobile riders who took a break in the middle of the trail. I went on the side of the trail and the fresh powder sucked me and the 850 pound snowmobile into a boulder. I had to bail of the machine in order to not die. The snowmobile survived with only a broken windshield. Good times.

2. Hanging out with my Dad

Me and the old man just don't get to see each other that often. So it was really great to drink beer at 9000 ft. and chain smoke with him all week long. He even gave me fatherly advice, which was pretty cool.

3. Wandering through a house worth 30 million dollars.

This house belongs to a guy named Meta. He was Richard Petty's manager, owned a portion of ford leasing and is real estate developer in PA. This house is ridiculous.

4. Seeing the house I grew up in

I grew up in this little house on Main Street in Park City, UT. I used to have to shovel my way out, to walk down the street and catch a bus to school in the winter. The snow here sucks to have to shovel, but is the best to ride on.

5. Scones

Scones are these tasty deep fried pastries and I love them. They serve them in all the cafes here. I like mine with butter and honey. Mmmmmm.....scone.


So I come home for two days and then leave for tour in Texas. Hopefully the Texas top five will be a little more exciting and involve some BBQ. Peace out party people there is a plane and a Bloody Mary calling my name.

Where in the world is Tony?

Midway, Utah

Some fun facts about Midway, Utah:

• Founded in 1891 by Swiss Emigrants
  
• The City hosted the Cross Country Skiing and Bi-atholon events during the 2002 winter olympics
• I can't find a fucking bar anywhere here. The closest one is in Heber and it is called the Other End.
  
• Known for it's "Hot Pots" or Geo-thermal calderas. (The water is between 90-95 degrees year round)
  
• According to the last census taken 97% of the city is white
• The beer I'm drinking at this exact moment is 3.2%. Thank god I have a bottle of Jager.
• There is a Goose across the street from my Dads and it has a shit fit anytime I go outside.
  

Crackers II

My surreal Utah moment

So I was at my little sisters apartment watching the most recent Dane Cook, HBO Standup special on DVD. I'm drinking her roommates gin and laughing out loud from time to time. My body is requesting nicotine (as it usually does when I'm drinking). Its 4 degrees outside.

I think to myself "Is the cigarette really worth it?"

I step out into the cold Utah air to smoke my Marlboro Light. I can see my breath. My body shivers.

I think to myself again "Is this really worth it?"

A guy with a mullet walks out the door of the building across from my sisters and starts up his car. Its a shit brown Chevy Caprice. He fires it up and runs back inside the apartment building, leaving the car unattended.

"Round Here" by Counting Crows is coming from the Caprice. Its a full moon tonight. I can hear different conversations coming from various apartments in the two buildings. A couple is fighting.

I take a hit of my cigarette.
(Round here we always stand up straight)

"Fuck you Cunt," comes from the apartment above my sisters.

I take a hit of my cigarette. I'm shaking from the cold.

"You are such an asshole!" same apartment, but crying female voice.
(Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand.)

I take a hit of my cigarette

A beer can is thrown. A door slams. A guy wearing a wool coat and sporting the worlds biggest fucking belt buckle, hops in into his 4x4 and peels out.

(Round here we're carving out our names)

The girl upstairs is crying.
(Round here we all look the same)

My hands and feet are numb. I start coughing.
(Round here we talk just like lions)

I take the last hit of the cigarette and flick it into a snow bank.

(But we sacrifice like lambs)

I never would have pegged that guy as a Counting Crows fan. I need to quit smoking.

My winter mix

Nothing can change this love - Sam Cooke
New Slang - The Shins
Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones
The Rescue Blues - Ryan Adams
Blanket of Ghosts - Dustin Kensrue
The Rain - K-OS
Unsubstantiated Rumors Are Good Enough For Me (To Base My Life Upon) - Against Me!
Sorrow - Bad Religion
Tuck Me In - Alkaline Trio
Ain't no reason- Brett Dennen
Blue Eyes - Cary Brothers
Not the Same - Ben Folds

How to spend 30 million dollars

Yesterday I was in a house worth 30 million dollars. The house took two years to build, this was apparently too long for the wife of the bread winner and now she wants him to sell it. I couldn't help but think how nice it would have been to have my best friends and a keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Anyways here are some highlights of what I saw:

• The house is 4 stories with its own underground garage and heated driveways
• Theater
• 2 evelvators
• Its own gondola
• The view out of the upstairs shower is worth a million dollars
• A million dollars worth of custom iron work
• the whole house has touch screens to operate it
• Did I mention that this guy built himself a personal gondola...holy shit.